If you’ve ever looked into late-diagnosed autism or ADHD, you’ll quickly come across the idea of masking. Masking is something neurodivergent people learn to do over their lives to fit into ordinary society. It’s about hiding autistic or ADHD traits so you appear more ‘normal’ and are less likely to face rejection from peers.
This happens naturally. Masking lets you grow up looking fairly typical, but it can lead to a strange disconnect later in life. When you start to wonder, ‘Am I autistic?’ the first thought might be, ‘No, I’m normal.’ You’ve masked so well that you don’t even recognise your own traits anymore.
Losing Yourself in the Mask
For some, masking becomes so ingrained that they lose sight of who they really are. In neurodivergent circles, the idea of unmasking is huge. It’s a journey of self-discovery, and it’s not just for neurodivergent people—it’s something everyone can benefit from.
When I started asking myself, ‘Am I autistic? Where has it shown up in my life?’ I worked with a psychologist to untangle it all. My Psychemagination Neurodivergent Journey of Self-Discovery books document this journey, which mirrors the path many late-diagnosed neurodivergent people take when they reflect on their lives.
The Persona vs. The Self
The concept of masking ties into Carl Jung’s idea of the persona. A persona is like a mask you wear in social situations—it’s not your ego or your true self. For example, many people have a work persona they adopt for professional settings, and that’s fine because they know it’s just for work.
I have a social persona, and most people do. It’s a mask you wear to avoid things like interrupting or oversharing—something that’s tricky for neurodivergent folks. The key is recognising that your persona is just a mask, not your true self.
But here’s the catch: many neurodivergent people don’t make this distinction. And it’s not just them—anyone can mistake their mask for their self. Some people carry their work mask home and can’t drop it, forgetting it’s not who they really are.
Why Unmasking Matters
Unmasking is an important process for everyone. It’s about asking, ‘This face I show the world—is that really me?’ For neurodivergent individuals, it’s especially crucial because masking can blur the lines between the self and the persona.
I explore this process in my book, Unmasking the Essential Self. As part of my self-reflection journey, I also created a song and an AI art video. The video dives into the concept of masks and asks the question: Are we the masks we wear? Of course, we’re not.
Watch the Video
If you’re curious about unmasking and the journey of self-discovery, I encourage you to watch the video. Listen to the song’s lyrics and reflect on the idea of masks versus the self. It’s a thought-provoking way to explore who you truly are.
Like the song?
Get it here: https://tahlianewland.bandcamp.com/track/the-masks-we-wear
