• Email
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • LinkedIn
  • Pinterest
  • TikTok
  • Tumblr
  • Twitter
  • YouTube

Tahlia Newland

Editor, Author & Artist

  • Editing Services
  • Me & My Creative Life
    • My Books
      • Metaphysical Fiction
    • My Poetry
    • My Masks
    • My Hats
    • Permaculture, Forest & Garden
    • Performing Arts
  • Blog
  • Contact

Worlds Within Worlds #20 Escape.

April 9, 2014 by Tahlia Newland

This  post is part of  ‘WORLDS WITHIN WORLDS’, a series of writings about Prunella (Ella) Smith, author, editor & reviewer, and the many worlds she inhabits: her physical reality; her online world where disgruntled author Dita stalks;  the worlds of the books she edits; her dream world, and the world beneath the veil of her ordinary reality.
Click
 here for the previous offerings in reverse order, or here for links to  them in order.

Worlds Within Worlds #20 Escape

Somewhere in Tibet. Sometime in the 1950’s

My eyes fly open. I cock my head, listening. No sound of movement comes through the door curtain, no bare feet on the pounded-earth floor. No muffled sounds of activity from outside penetrate the thick walls. Even the dogs are silent. I climb from my bed, open the shutter and peer into the night sky. The light of a full moon washes over me and illuminates my room. Its position dispels any fear that I may have slept too long. The gong that will call the monks to prayer is still some time away. Enough to make my escape.

Today the saffron robes will remain unworn. The robe of an ordinary man awaits, tucked beneath the blankets so my assistant will not find them. Tashi has done well. The coat he offered just last week fits perfectly and the sturdy boots he provided a month ago in preparation for this day are well worn in now.

I grab my bag—packed the night before—and heft it over my shoulder. Morning practice must wait today. My heart beats with excitement, the like of which I have never felt before. It quickens often enough with the drums of the dharmapalas practice and with my morning prostrations, but never like this. My mind is crystal clear, bright and still like the flame on a butter lamp. Alert. Stimulated by the prospect of escape. I shall not miss a moment of this adventure.

I cast a parting glance at the texts neatly stacked in rows along the wall. Others will make use of them now. The main practices I know by heart. I take only a quill, paper and ink.

The curtain parts, and after my passing falls back against the door frame with a swish. My feet propel me through the sleeping monastery. My hand on the wall guides me down the dark corridor. Hesitation doesn’t have a chance; the decision was made months ago—months that Tashi has spent preparing for this day. Now it has come, I cannot bear to be here a moment longer.

I open the door slowly, careful not to make a sound, and step outside. A great weight falls from my heart. At last I am free. I close the door softly behind me and take a deep breath of the chilly air. No incense smoke here, no smell of a hundred men and boys packed together. Even the smells of the village are muted by the cold. Guided by the moonlight, I hurry off and don’t look back.

After only a few steps, an unexpected mix of emotions arise. I watch them with curiosity until they fade in the vast expanse of my mind. I had expected the relief, but not the grief. But I suppose it is not surprising. The monastery has been my home since my parents brought me here in my seventh year. I have been blessed with excellent spiritual instruction from great masters—I mentally prostrate to my root master—but the administration, the hierarchy, the responsibilities, even the set practices have become impediments rather than the support they once were. Though my mind is free wherever I am, it is time for this body to part ways with the monastery that nurtured it.  There are advanced practices on which I need to focus, and for which only solitude will suffice. I wince at the possibility that this is a great delusion, a trap set by my ego, but my heart, where the mind of my master resides, says, ‘go’.

‘You have all the teachings, now go and practice them’, he had said.

My time as a monk is over. The life of a yogi awaits me.

I run my hand over my skull and feel the stubble. Today is shaving day, but this head will not see a razor or scissors again. A laugh escapes my lips. None of that matters where I am going. Tashi will have a hat to keep my head warm until I have hair long enough to wrap around it.

I arrive at my first destination and tap on the door of Tashi’s house. A light shines through the cracks in the shutters. I hope he got some sleep. The door opens and I am greeted by a broad smile. He bows. I bow in return, and he gestures me inside. His bedroll lies on the floor by the door where he waited for my knock.

‘All is ready, your—’

With a hand gesture, I cut him off before he can speak my title. He nods. We have spoken about this. I do not want to be anybody anymore, just an anonymous yogi living alone in the mountains. Perhaps one day I will return, but for now, I go incognito.

I refuse tea. We can stop later and make some on the way. I wish to be far from the village by the time everyone awakes. They will not find a note on my bed. They will know from the robes I left behind that the time has come for this lama to relinquish his seat. They know that Tashi, like his father before him, is my benefactor, and they will find out when he returns.

‘I will have to tell them eventually,’ he says, handing me a fleece-lined hat, ‘but I will keep them at bay as long as I can.’

I pull the hat down over my ears and open the door. ‘If they come to visit. I shall throw stones at them until they go away,’ I say as I step outside.

 

The I that writes this is not the I that lived it, and yet I feel the ache in his legs as he climbs. I smile with him when he reaches his new home and gazes at the vastness of the view with the monastery and village just a speck in the distance. I feel his gratitude when he sees how comfortable Tashi has made the cave; it must have taken him many trips—half a day each—to make it habitable again. The man’s devotion cannot be questioned.

Is this a past life creeping into my present awareness or is it simply a product of a writer’s imagination? It could be either and is likely the later, for I live the lives of all my characters to some extent.

Either way, I know what this monk does not know on this day, and I see what he cannot see at this time. He will stay on this mountain longer than three years, three months and three days, and he will watch helplessly as his monastery burns.

Share this:

  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window)
  • Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window)

Related

Filed Under: Other stuff Tagged With: Tibet

« WWW #19 I am a Goddess. I feel like Crap.
Excellent YA urban fantasy: ‘Sacrifice’ by Jennifer Quintenz »

Search

Recent Posts

  • Fantasy Book Review: The High Priestess by Val Tobin
  • Book Genres – What you Need to Know.
  • How to See Edits in Word Documents
  • Finding an Editor You Can Trust
  • Review of ‘The Guild Codex Spellbound Series’ by Annette Marie

View Posts by Category

Writing a novel? Feeling overwhelmed? Get new insight and inspiration with my FREE Novel Revision Checklist. 

DOWNLOAD  NOW

Subscribe to Blog via Email

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Free Book Download  
Get Lethal Inheritance free when you sign up to my new release email list.  I won’t share your details and you can unsubscribe at any time.

My Latest Books

  • Fallout: Recovering from Abuse in Tibetan Buddhism
  • The Elements of Active Prose: Writing Tips to Make Your Prose Shine
  • The Locksmith's Secret
    Rated 5.00 out of 5

Alliance of Independent Authors

Alliance of Independent Authors

Click HERE to see all my books.

Books
Reviews, Writing, Cats & Contemplation
Editing

Click HERE to subscribe to my newsletter and get my fantasy novel Lethal Inheritance FREE. 

How to Meditate – the crucial points

See more

Hi I’m Tahlia Newland

I can help you express yourself and share your story with the world.

 

Do you want to write a really good story and have it professionally polished and published?

As an editor, I help you be the best writer you can possibly be. I strengthen your voice, support your vision and can assist you all the way to publication.

On my blog you’ll find book reviews, writer’s tips, contemplative articles on meditation and working with your mind, and occaisonally pictures of my Burmese cats.

If you’re interested mostly in my contemplative articles then  Sign up to the Living in Peace & Clarity Newsletter to get those articles delivered by email. And check out the resources on my Living in Peace and Clarity Page.

I do a lot of community work involving blogging and general support for Buddhist students processing revelations of abuse in their spiritual communities.  Please consider supporting me to continue this work.

Occiasonally, when inspired and not too busy with community work, I make masks.

All my books are

Visit my Mask & Steampunk Accessories Shop

2015-03-19 15.46.12
Blue Burmese
Like cats in stories? Check out my books. And click the photo to read the cat colomn.

Click Here for More Articles in This Series

Book reviews – sci fi, fantasy, literary fiction, Buddhist fiction and related non-fiction

Fantasy Book Review: The High Priestess by Val Tobin

Fantasy Book Review: The High Priestess by Val Tobin

The High Priestess: Persephone’s Return is the third book in Val Tobin’s Tales from the Unmasqued World Series, and in it she deepens and expands the stories from the previous two book. The book has two central story arcs based around characters we’ve met before. One arc follows Kelsey (a human) who is with Josh […]

More Posts from this Category

My gorgeous Burmese cats

Renovated Website & Cute Cat Series

Renovated Website & Cute Cat Series

Yesterday I did a photoshoot for my renovated website. Take a look around, particulary at the home page (Click on my name at the top to go there). It’s designed for editing clients with my books secondary because I need to focus on the part of this publishing business that actually earns me more than […]

More Posts from this Category

Seven of my novels have an Awesome Indies Seal of Excellence

Four of my books earned BRAG Medallions

I abide by the ethical author code

I'm an Ethical Author
Alliance of Independent Authors

Copyright

All material on this website is under copyright to Tahlia Newland and cannot be shared without written permission.

  • Editing Services
  • About Me
  • My Books
  • My Masks
  • Blog
  • Contact

Copyright © 2023 · Amoré Theme by Oh, Hello Designs on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in

FREE Novel Revision Checklist

Written a book? Need some help reviewing and revising it? Download my Novel Revision Checklist for step by step guidance.  

DOWNLOAD NOW

no thanks

{"cookieName":"wBounce","isAggressive":false,"isSitewide":true,"hesitation":"120","openAnimation":false,"exitAnimation":false,"timer":"","sensitivity":"","cookieExpire":"7","cookieDomain":"","autoFire":"","isAnalyticsEnabled":false}

Please note: I am closed for holidays from Christmas day until Jan 30th 2023. Dismiss