This is a raw and honest book about a Buddhist practitioner with a strong intellectual understanding of the Buddhist teachings reflecting on them as he grieves for his wife. He asks himself just how are some of these teachings supposed to help, because when in the grip of the intense pain of losing a loved one, the answer to that question is not always obvious. He particularly looks at the teachings on karma and how the common oversimplifications of these teachings can be not at all helpful to someone in pain. It is said that only an enlightened being is capable of fully understanding the workings of karma and this book gives us some idea of why this is so. Is also warns us away from using teachings that we have limited understanding of to form platitudes that, rather than help a suffering person, are really only a way of saving us from having to fully engage with an uncomfortable situation. To truly be with another in their grief requires something much more genuine. When reading … [Read more...]
Not Anymore: A poem for accepting death.
Accepting death is something we must all come to eventually. Life forces us to that understanding by giving us death, be it of pet or person. When death occurs the affected people must grieve, and it makes no difference if the being who has left us is human or animal, the extent of our grief matches the extent of our love. It is particularly difficult when the death is sudden and unexpected, and especially when the being is very young. George was two and a half, around ten for a cat's life expectancy. The seven emotional stages of grief are usually understood to be shock or disbelief, denial, bargaining, guilt, anger, depression, and acceptance/hope. They don't necessarily happen in that order and not everyone experiences all these stages depending on their philosophy and spiritual experience, or they may experience them only briefly, but the final stage, the stage where peace can be found, is acceptance. It is this state that we must come to at some point if we're to move on … [Read more...]
Moving & thought-provoking women’s fiction: ‘The Widows To Do List’ by Stephanie Zia
The Widows To Do List is a moving, thought-provoking and occasionally funny story about a recently widowed woman in her fifties as she tries to come to terms with her new status. Sally comes across as very real, which makes her easy to relate to. She mothered two children--now grown and left home--and loved her husband, but an accident took him away and left her grief stricken. The majority of the story takes place one year after Dom's death. Sally is managing by making a list of things to achieve, as suggested by a book on being a widow, and slowly working towards achieving each thing on the list. But Sally's old friend Ramone, thinks the list is ridiculous and suggests some alternatives, one is to have sex as soon as possible, because a widow, having been with one man for so long, is somewhat like a virgin. It's so long since she dated anyone that it's like starting at the beginning again. Sally doesn't like being alone, but she doesn't want to date anyone either until someone … [Read more...]
