Some days, life just demands a big, earthy, gutsy groan. You know the kind—the kind that comes from deep in your stomach and carries all the weight of your frustrations, stress, and unspoken emotions.
But here’s the thing: many of us were taught not to groan. Maybe you were told it’s unladylike, unseemly, or just plain weird. I was. Growing up, I learned that making strange noises wasn’t “proper.” But as an autistic person, I’ve come to realize that vocalizing my feelings is not only natural but also incredibly healthy.
And honestly? I think it’s something everyone could benefit from.
The Problem: Bottling It All Up
Most of us are conditioned to suppress our emotions. We’re told to “keep it together,” “stay strong,” or “push through.” But what happens when we don’t acknowledge how we’re feeling?
Those emotions don’t just disappear. They linger. They fester. They show up as irritability, stress, or that nagging sense that something’s off.
Pretending you’re fine when you’re not doesn’t work. And sometimes, the best way to deal with those feelings is to let them out—loudly.
Reframing Groaning: It’s Not Weird, It’s Healthy
Here’s the truth: groaning isn’t just for the frustrated or the fed up. It’s a natural, instinctive way to release tension and regulate emotions. It’s a somatic approach natural to us all; we just have to allow it to happen when the tension rises. The idea is to let the emotional energy dissipate before it becomes explosive, because an explosion of emotions—different to a simple loud groan—becomes dangerous to ourselves and others.
For autistic people like me, this kind of unmasking—allowing ourselves to express emotions authentically—can be life-changing. But this isn’t just about autism. Groaning, sighing, or even singing your feelings can be a powerful tool for anyone.
Think of it as emotional housekeeping. When you groan, you’re acknowledging your feelings, releasing them, and making space to move forward.
Morning on the Deck: My Groaning Epiphany
One morning, I woke up feeling heavy. The kind of heavy that makes you want to crawl back under the covers and hide from the world.
Instead, I stepped out onto my deck, took a deep breath, and groaned.
“Groan, groan, groan,” I said, letting the sound roll out of me.
And then something unexpected happened. I started to laugh. The groaning turned into a silly little song:
“When you’ve gotta groan, you’ve got to groan.”
That simple act of vocalizing my feelings—of turning them into something playful—completely transformed my mood. What started as frustration became lightness.
And now it’s a video for you to enjoy and a song you can groan along with.
4 Reasons to Embrace Groaning
So why should you give groaning a try? Here are four reasons:
1. Emotional Release
Groaning helps you acknowledge and release pent-up emotions, preventing them from building up and weighing you down.
2. Stress Relief
Vocalizing your feelings can be surprisingly cathartic, helping you let go of tension and reset your mind.
3. Creative Expression
Turning your groans into a song or playful sound can shift your perspective and even spark joy.
4. Authenticity
Allowing yourself to groan is a way of honouring your emotions and being true to yourself.
Why This Matters
In a world that often feels overwhelming—whether it’s personal struggles or global crises—finding healthy ways to cope is essential.
When the news is grim, when governments make baffling decisions, or when life just feels too much, groaning can be a small but powerful act of self-care. It’s a way of saying, “Yes, this is hard, and I’m allowed to feel it.”
And when you let those feelings out, you create space for hope, creativity, and resilience.
Don’t Forget the Letting Go Part
Don’t make ‘letting it all out’ the only way you handle your emotions, though. We don’t want to stir your emotions up further or turn you into a grumpy soul that even you don’t like.
The ‘let it out’ idea is for a quick release, let out the frustration, then move on and forget about it. It’s acknowledging and releasing the emotional energy build up in your body before letting the emotions go.
The letting go of your frustration is important, but not before acknowledging its existence. If you don’t let it go, it’ll soon come back again, and the ‘letting it out’ can become counterproductive, decreasing instead of increasing your emotional regulation.
Humour helps let them go. There’s nothing quite like not taking ourselves and life too seriously. Hence the benefit of the silly song.
So Go Ahead, Groan
So the next time life feels like too much, don’t hold it in. Step outside, take a deep breath, and let out a good, hearty groan.
Who knows? You might even turn it into a song.
And you’re welcome to use mine!
And if you’re curious about how groaning inspired my latest music video—a quirky, modern Celtic tune paired with AI art—check it out. It’s proof that even the simplest acts of self-expression can lead to something beautiful.
